Thursday, February 28, 2013

Peanut Butter

Sitting up in bed with laptop eating peanut butter on crackers. I need a mental health day. Think I'll put this Chapter 2 to bed (as I did with Chapter 1 -- as in, share it with my First Reader) and then watch a bunch of Game of Thrones season 2. Or nap. Or drive out to see my honey.

Once in a blue moon I just need to get my strength back. I just need to escape from this shitty life I lead. Pretend I am someone else. Someone who has time to put the Chapter 2 to bed. Someone who doesn't have a crappy day job that she hates. A writer. Sitting around in coffee shops, getting shit done.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Hot Mess

I just randomly remembered this hot mess this morning:

Holy crap it makes me laugh. So, so ridiculous. Monday morning laughatron!

Monday, February 18, 2013


So, I didn't even make it through to round two. Which means my manuscript will not be read by a great bunch of literary snobs since they didn't even like my pitch.

Which means one of two things:

1. It was poorly written. I can see the holes in it. When I submitted it, I thought it was a strong pitch. And there are things about it that I can see are strong. But there is also no indication of time or place. The whole thing was an experiment in working speedily, and now that I am at my leisure, I can polish it.

2. They were lukewarm about the material. That I can do nothing about. Morons.

Still, this is not the end of the world. Especially when I listen to my new power song to help me get through:

In fact, this ire that fills me is actually good. It is better than believing this is the be-all, end-all. It is better than despair since it leads to action, to thinking of all those times I've read or been told the advice to be persistant, even in the face of so many, many "nos". There are other immediate options:

1. Polish pitch, send out to agents. Tor has opened themselves to submissions. Send it to them.
2. Self-publish on the interwebs.

I plan to do both. But now I have to edit, edit, edit.

Since Writing the Above

Since writing the above, I have to admit that I did indulge in a little despair. It's difficult not to when one has pinned all one's future fulfillment on the coming true of a long-held dream. But after a good cry, I am back at it. The ideas in the book are dangerous, the story does not fit into received genres. Or rather straddles them: a sort of Sci Fi for the book club set with a pinch of Dan Brown. Never thought I'd say that about a book I wrote. But it is what it is and I am looking down the barrel of self-publishing. A daunting affair that might turn out to be more rewarding than anything else could be.

To work!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Nothin' but negativity

So I dunno. I keep working away. Tomorrow I find if I made it through to round two, so that's something. I am going out to dinner tonight with the girls. Boston pizza. Hooray! Sarcastic. Sometimes I feel I am heading towards this unremarkable suburban life at light speed and it kind of sucks.

Last Friday I went to a bar with the boys. They ignored me for the most part. I suppose I wouldn't whine so much about people ignoring me if I was willing to say anything about my true self to strangers. It is so difficult for me to pretend that I give a crap about teaching. That I am a teacher like we tell everyone. I am not a teacher. I am a writer. But tell that to people -- that you're an unpublished author and they either disbelief or...what? Either way I am afraid of judgment. Maybe I just shouldn't care what people think and just be myself. Probably.

Friday, February 1, 2013


Just finished my day job for the day. Woot friday. Tonight is party. Finally convinced one of the other girls to come with me to one of the 'boys' parties. They are not actually boys parties but for some reason -- tradition, laziness -- the other girls just won't come to the parties. I just can't do it. I may be the oldest kid in our entire group, but I can't just make like the other girls and sit at home dreaming of babies and waiting for their man to conclude his fun and come home and sit around in sweats with them waiting for the day they are ready to start a fam.

Not for me. I can't sit at home. It makes me feel like I am missing out on adventures. And fun. And silliness. Things that I love. Parties over babies. Other than my nephews. My nephews are awesome because I get to have fun with them and then don't have to change their diapers. Best thing ever.

Anyways going to a party tonight. Eating sushi at the moment. Song today:

Although at the moment I am listening to "Heroes," David Bowie. Super.

Writing: Still working through the manuscript. The one I entered into the contest. Realize I need more reaction moments in the first half, more action moments in the second half. It is remarkable to me since I am so very emotionally reactionary you'd think I'd be good at that part. Well oh well. In my pursuit of more action I have renagated my natural inclinations. At least this means I will have an easy time of writing scenes of digesting what the f* just happened. OK bye.